We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
