doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
