Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
