It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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