Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
thus making me awesome and them whores
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
