Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
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