they need to just BURY HIM!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
And then my night got REAL pukey
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
