Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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