Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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