just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
