What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
