I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
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when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You have to summon your inner elephant
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Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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