Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
How external is "for external use only"?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
