I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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