i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
