She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
