my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
