Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
