I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
