marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
