He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
