So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
