You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Randomize
