Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize