If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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