sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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