At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
