got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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