i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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