Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
