if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
