All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just found a bag of teeth...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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