i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
