College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
babies were throwing up all over the place
no you cant smoke seaweed
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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