I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
