How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
