Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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