Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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