My first STD was from a foam party
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
