Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
