i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
