Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
