id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Who died my cat blue again?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
