just come out here and I will go home with you...
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My pussy is not your playground.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
