So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
