3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I can't turn off my feet"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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