i don't like sucking hair
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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