We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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