How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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