Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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