I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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