The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Found the puke drawer
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Randomize
