I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
