would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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