i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I am one with the molecules
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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