If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
