Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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