Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
