he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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