Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This is the high leading the old right now
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
