lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
