So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
