my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he thought i was a dude.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
