brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm at about main and main street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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