Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
