he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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