Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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