Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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