its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
