And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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