There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
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I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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